Name tag-ology

I want to thank all one of my readers for their sincere concern about the status of my name tag. It is a hardship I must endure. But I have a dream. A dream that someday, I will chuck my name tag in the trash and proclaim, "free at last, free at least, thank God almighty, I'm free at last!"

It is a very heavy-duty name tag, made of very thick plastic, with my full name, followed by Seek. But this is the good part: there's a rainbow-colored ribbon stuck to the bottom of my name tag (which is really big enough as it is) that says "first-time attendee"--a wonderful excuse to be confused, less-than-brilliant, and even flippant. Next year, though, I guess I better have my act together.

This is the most versatile name tag I've ever worn. Not only does it have a metal clip rivaling the claws of a killer scorpion, there is also an industrial strength safety pin attached to the clip. And finally . . . there are meal tickets (all fluorescent, all the time) concealed behind the card bearing my name.

But here's the upside: with a name like mine, it's easy for people to begin conversations with me, and we immediately have something to talk about. So thanks again . . . I think I'll make it through.